DianeV
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5246
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Posted: 02/07/2001 04:30 pm
edscars, sorry for the trouble.
What you say is true. There is always room for artistic expression; it is, after all, web design. We're just detailing some of the more troublesome aspects of website building.
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Garrett
Joined: Feb 11, 2001
# Posts: 62
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Posted: 02/11/2001 12:22 am
Or do what this [edited - please pick an alternative word: guy, dude, man,] does on his site when you click one of the Form Buttons to get to one of the pages for his programs!!!
http://www.weblines.bizland.com/ Mind you, this site already has maybe a few of the top 10 things to chase you off, but you have just got to click one of his buttons and see what happens.. It not only is freaking annoying.. It totally Ticked me Off!! I work at a Freeware Site, and it's things like what you mentioned in your newsletter that get submissions to our site lost. Not sure what happens either.. I get the submission, I go check out the site to insure that the program is freeware, I run into a site that has one of the annoying things mentioned in your newsletter, then back to my email client, and for some reason, the submission is no longer there. I just can't figure out what happens to them! Hehehehehehehe ;-) Best regards,
-Garrett Welcome to the forums bro, in your future posts can you please tone it down a bit. Gracias [This message has been edited by xelA (edited 02-11-2001).]
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SearchEngineer
Joined: Oct 30, 2000
# Posts: 351
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Posted: 02/12/2001 02:44 am
36) Allow your visitors to sign-up for your "super smashing great" weekly newsletter, and then fill said newsletter with one sentence from you, a list of potentially interesting articles in the contents details, and then a tonne of advertising links the whole way down. But also include an "unsubscribe" link that, when clicked on, creates a pop-up window that does absolutely nothing...About as frustrating as they come - I've been trying to unsubscribe from one site that does this for nigh-on 2 months. 
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rjs
Joined: Feb 11, 2001
# Posts: 2
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Posted: 02/12/2001 02:19 pm
37) Once a visitor leaves your site to go somewhere else, a pop-up should appear, preferably covering their entire screen, urging them to join your mailing list or whatever. People shouldn't leave. There's nothing on those other sites that they can't find on yours.
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radzimir
Joined: Feb 13, 2001
# Posts: 1
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Posted: 02/13/2001 11:31 am
38) Create site about WWW design and promotion.
Subscribe to e-zines and newsletters (e.g. JimWorld Gazette).
Translate articles from newsletters to your site language (e.g. Polish).
Publish this article on your site/send in your newsletter as your own work. You must be the best!!! And add everywhere information about your rights...
Visitors love to be idiots. Or maybe they love law-breakers?
Anyone interested in Polish version of articles from JimWorld Gazette can find them here: http://webresources.help.pl/artykul.php?id=55
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lisasmiles
Joined: Jan 16, 2000
# Posts: 413
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Posted: 02/13/2001 01:12 pm
I dont know if this is annoying enough for this list but 101) Use JavaScript to put the current date and time on your page, and then move onto a new project and dont update anything on the site for a few months or years --> That makes it look like you are right on top of the site although all your external links are dead and your text is horribly outdated (maybe even with dates) Welcome to my Site! Today is 2/13/2001 and it's 5:05pm! News: 6/20/1999 I'm sorry I haven't updated this site in a while, I am working on a New Site Design! Stay Tuned!
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Jim
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5442
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Posted: 02/14/2001 01:13 pm
radzimir, that isn't your site is it?I did a little looking around and ran some stuff through a Polish-English translator. The page with this thread is pretty obvious, but can you point me to other Gazette article pages? I most likely don't want to shut the webmaster down, but I do want it presented with proper credits at least.
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Jim
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5442
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Posted: 02/15/2001 07:30 am
Sign up for other people's ezines using an email address attached to one of those autoresponders that keep sending "follow up" messages every day.
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Jim
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5442
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Posted: 02/15/2001 07:34 am
Send "Special One Time Messages" each week telling your subscribers about the latest hair-brained MLM scam you've found.
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BettyGoat
Joined: Feb 17, 2001
# Posts: 1
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Posted: 02/17/2001 05:17 am
My favorite is MOUSE TRAILS that pulsate and follow the user throughout the site! It has really worked for my current employer to drive users away from our site. That is, if the revolving, dot-matrix clock telling me the local time didn't do it first![This message has been edited by BettyGoat (edited 02-17-2001).]
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charliecss
Joined: Jan 26, 2001
# Posts: 364
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Posted: 02/19/2001 04:33 pm
Jim, you want to globalise the forums ( http://searchengineforums.com/Forum18/HTML/000136.html )? You've already got a Polish one  43) Put everything in <blink> – </blink> 44) Ask for their email for "upcoming
events that might be of intrest to you", and send them ads (I think you can get paid now –– like 2 cents for every person you send an ad to for some services... 45) This is explained in part before, but here in more detail: Have 5 popup windows (full screen size, even larger) that pop up when you load the page, each contaning your pages content, or better ads that you get paid 2-4 cents per view for. For every window you try to close, 5 more pop up! 46) If you have a forum, delete all of the usefull info and keep all of the spam 47) (This is PROVEN 100% Effective) Delete the site and replaced it with a page that forwards to an affiliate page. (Yes, they can force-quit or shutdow/restart [if they are lucky], but will they be coming back [soon]? Hehe! Mission Acomplished! [This message has been edited by charliecss (edited 02-19-2001).]
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MyS10
Joined: Jun 05, 2000
# Posts: 83
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Posted: 02/21/2001 12:20 pm
< 2347. > Use an insanely large and colorfull background image - and then LOCK the background image.
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nighterror.com
Joined: Feb 22, 2001
# Posts: 2
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Posted: 02/22/2001 02:16 pm
Build your site with all content either direct links to affiliate programs or articles about XYZ(yet another affiliate program)
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icehouse
Joined: Nov 07, 2000
# Posts: 362
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Posted: 02/22/2001 03:41 pm
Hehe, this thread is cool, keeps growing..and growing...Umm...number 50? Be sure to take the user to a blank page, use a javascript to change the page color at least 20 times, then redirect at least 5 more times, each time changing colors of the background. [This message has been edited by icehouse (edited 02-22-2001).]
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EX-S
Joined: Feb 22, 2000
# Posts: 188
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Posted: 02/25/2001 04:39 pm
51) To ensure your pages display correctly, run a browser detection script. Resultingly, any person using "Opera" will reach a page saying "Your browser does not support frames or javascript. Please download one that does."
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lambchop
Joined: Feb 28, 2001
# Posts: 2
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Posted: 02/28/2001 01:08 pm
52) Be sure to sign up for newsletters or other form subscription requests with a hidden e-mail - then the webmaster will have to write you personally - this gives you more attention and helps the webmaster find something to do with that few seconds of their time.
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xelA
Joined: Nov 24, 1999
# Posts: 1857
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Posted: 05/11/2001 06:46 pm
This has allot of great info so this is just a bump! Feel free to add to it.
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handyandy
Joined: Mar 29, 2001
# Posts: 52
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Posted: 05/14/2001 02:49 am
* Now that the BLINK tag is filtered out by many browsers to remain static, use a graphic (preferably several) that achieve the same effect.* Liberally sprinkle animated GIFs around the page that have no relevance to the content. Make sure you don't get them professionally designed - the more tacky and amateurish the animation the better. * Don't close any of your tags. The benefit of this is that those poor souls using old browsers (particularly on a Mac) will crash the computer. Result! * Make sure that your only method of navigation is a Flash menu. Provide no other method of navigation (well of course, *everyone* has Flash don't they?) * Always use the absolutely latest version of every plugin available and ensure that you insert at least one feature that makes it incompatible with previous versions. * Make your rollover (hover) text links the same colour as the background so they disappear when a user puts their mouse over. * Put a rude message in the NOFRAMES section (assuming you even bothered) along the lines of 'You're scum get a better browser (like IE is a *better* browser???) * Use screwy script that tells you that you have the wrong browser or screen resolution, even when you blatantly have it set correctly. Refuse to load the main content. Don't even assume the user might still be able to get something from your site at a different resolution/setting. * Use a pop-up box asking for the visitor's name on entry. Don't use cookies to store this (I mean it's not remotely annoying the first time either) * Constantly refer to 'right clicking', Start menus, Windows 98, taskbars, C drive, D drive, A drive. Because *everyone* uses a Microoft laden x86 PC don't they? (OK it might not drive people away) [This message has been edited by handyandy (edited 05-14-2001).]
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Kenny
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts:
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Posted: 05/17/2001 06:17 pm
1. Getting entry pop ups from about.com ads on every site I visit to buy a dumb mini camera.
2. and the equally irritating "you have one message" pop up.
3. Exit advertising.
3. Sites that wont let you go back, I hate nothing more that being an hour into a google search and loose my place cause I cant go back. (usally a book mark us now page, once your there you cant go back, which ever button you hit goes forward and no matter how fast you are you cant hit back fast enough)
4. My WORSE is the pounding of constant pop ups so bad that the only way to stop them is to completely shut down all brouser windows. I do one pop up, my own and it's set for once per brouser session, it will not display again! Point taken on disable right click and I will change on up dates. [This message has been edited by Kenny (edited 05-17-2001).] [This message has been edited by Kenny (edited 05-17-2001).]
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Sinoed
Moderator
Joined: Dec 11, 2000
# Posts: 5266
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Posted: 05/18/2001 08:02 pm
My personal favorite..68) Design your website so that upon loading it instantly freezes and locks your visitors computer rendering every single key except the reset/power switch useless. ArrGH! Why do people do this?
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